The Grammy-winning artist Victoria Monét opened up about romantic frustrations in a widely shared interview with podcaster Angie Martinez that was released on May 6. In the conversation, Monét described imagining a future partner using he/him pronouns and explained that her experiences dating women have often felt disappointing. Known for songs like “Let Me” and “Touch Me”, Monét publicly came out as bisexual in 2018, and has had high-profile relationships that fans have followed closely. She was linked to singer Kehlani between 2018 and 2026, later confirming that “Touch Me” was inspired by that relationship.
Monét’s personal timeline includes dating trainer John Gaines beginning in 2026, giving birth to their daughter Hazel in 2026, and announcing a split with Gaines in a joint statement on X in September 2026. During the interview, Martinez pushed on Monét’s use of masculine pronouns when picturing a future partner, and Monét quipped that women often treat her poorly, laughing that “the girls do me dirty.” She elaborated that many women approach her from a sensual angle rather than offering an intentional, romantic investment, a dynamic she finds frustrating as someone who identifies with feminine energy.
What she said and the immediate context
Monét’s remarks landed in a fertile cultural moment: conversations about queer dating dynamics are always evolving, and statements from visible artists draw attention. She suggested that, contrary to a common assumption that dating women might be easier, her personal experience has been the opposite — encounters felt more transactional or surface-level. Monét speculated that she wants more of an opposite energy in a partner, perhaps a masculine woman or someone who embodies the kinds of protectiveness and assertiveness often stereotypically associated with cis men. This touches on the interplay of gender expression and relationship expectations within bisexual dating experiences.
Fan response and the online conversation
Criticism and concerns
The clip quickly provoked debate across social platforms, especially within sapphic online communities. Some viewers interpreted Monét’s comments as reinforcing harmful tropes about bisexual women — including accusations that bisexual people are less committed to same-gender relationships. Critics raised concerns about biphobia resurfacing: users argued that remarks like Monét’s can be weaponized against bisexual women who already face erasure and mistrust in queer spaces. Voices on TikTok and other networks pointed out that a celebrity’s offhand lines can amplify stereotypes, and one user framed the moment as a setback for an ongoing fight for bisexual respect and visibility.
Support and shared experiences
At the same time, many commenters defended Monét, saying she was simply describing a personal pattern rather than issuing a universal claim about women. Several people in the comments argued they had faced similar situations where female partners prioritized physical chemistry over emotional commitment, and they appreciated hearing a frank account from a public figure. Others provided a more analytical take, suggesting the issue reflects broader cultural scripts about gender, like heteronormativity, and the way people are socialized to view men as the default path to family formation and security.
Broader themes: dating, identity and expectations
Beyond the immediate reactions, the clip highlights larger questions about how bisexuality is perceived and experienced. Monét’s remark about picturing a man when she thinks about parenthood underscores how social structures around family and caregiving shape romantic imaginaries. Many bisexual people negotiate competing pressures: the desire for authentic connection with women and the cultural narratives that elevate cis men as partners for long-term stability. Unpacking these pressures requires confronting heteronormative assumptions and recognizing the emotional labor involved in choosing partners who align with one’s needs.
Why the debate won’t end with one interview
Ultimately, Monét’s comments reopened conversations that have persisted across queer communities for years. Whether viewers saw her words as honest self-reflection or as contributing to harmful myths, the exchange revealed how celebrity statements can catalyze wider discourse about dating, gender expression and community expectations. The clip itself is unlikely to resolve those tensions, but it does provide a chance for nuanced discussions about what bisexual women want, how they are perceived, and how communities can respond with both critique and empathy.