In the digital age, finding love often begins with a swipe. Yet, for many LGBTQ+ singles, the endless cycle of dating apps has grown exhausting and unfulfilling. As prices for premium subscriptions soar and swipe fatigue sets in, a growing number of queer individuals are turning to matchmakers and curated events to find genuine connections.
This shift is not just about escaping the algorithm; it’s about investing in human connection. For some, it’s a matter of finding someone who understands the unique challenges and joys of LGBTQ+ love. For others, it’s about reclaiming the romance that can get lost in the digital shuffle.
The Human Touch: LGBTQ+ Matchmakers in Demand
Anthony Canapi, AMFT, co-owner of Best Man Matchmakingnoticed a gap in the market for LGBTQ+ individuals, particularly people of color. After working for a celebrity matchmaker in Beverly Hills, he decided to focus on a community often overlooked by traditional matchmaking services.
“I’d been working for a celebrity matchmaker in Beverly Hills,” Canapi says, “and found there was this gap in the market for gay men, especially people of color.”
Matchmakers like Canapi offer a high-touch service that goes beyond the algorithm. They prospect for potential dates on their clients’ behalf, sourcing and vetting matches for compatibility. This personal approach can be a game-changer for busy professionals or those who have struggled to find meaningful connections online.
The Success Story of Larry and Quinn
Larry Thomas, 82, and Quinn Olson, 56, found love through Canapi’s services. Despite a flat tire and stormy weather on the night before Valentine’s Day, their first date turned into a three-and-a-half-hour conversation that flew by. Six months later, they were married.
“Three and a half hours flew by,” Olson recalls over the phone. Their story is a testament to the power of human connection and the value of investing in love.
Curated Events: A Fresh Approach to Dating
For those who prefer a more social approach, curated dating events are gaining popularity. These events range from speed-dating nights to “date my friend” parties, where attendees pitch their friends in a lightning round followed by mingling. The common thread is getting people off their phones and face-to-face with potential partners.
Trevor Kuhn, a New York-based dating coach and matchmaker, hosts events like these. His speed-dating nights bring hopeful romantics to local bars on weekday evenings, offering a curated experience at a lower cost than matchmaking services.
“My monthly inquiries have doubled since this time a year ago,” Kuhn says. “One client told me that, when he goes to in-person events, at least he is meeting people, whereas on the apps, it’s often not going anywhere.”
The Role of Coaching and Accountability
Lamont White, an Atlanta-based gay matchmaker, emphasizes the importance of coaching and accountability in his services. He works with clients to help them show up as their authentic selves and cultivate intimacy outside of sex.
“I had a guy, an IT specialist who worked from home,” White shares. “No hobbies, no interests, no friends. He said, ‘Oh, I want to go on a date with somebody.’ I’m like, ‘Well, you’re literally a vegetable right now. You have no interests. I can’t put you in front of a man.'”
Over several months, White helped his client develop new hobbies and make friends, ultimately preparing him for a successful relationship. This holistic approach sets matchmakers apart from the impersonal nature of dating apps.
Investing in Love: Is It Worth It?
The question remains: Are matchmakers, dating coaches, and curated events worth the investment? For many LGBTQ+ singles, the answer is a resounding yes. The value of finding a meaningful connection, especially in a community with a history of marginalization, cannot be overstated.
Elise Braunschweiger, founder of Amity Matchmaking, notes that the matchmaking industry was not built by or for LGBTQ+ individuals. “The matchmaking industry was not built by or for gay people,” she says. “And to be honest, if you’re someone who is gender non-conforming, or lesbian, or bi, or AFAB, you probably know that things labeled LGBTQ are probably cis gay men first, and then maybe the rest of us can join, and it will adapt from there.”
For Susan Dost and Quincy Tessaverne, investing in a matchmaker led to a successful relationship and a blended family. Their story highlights the potential for curated matches to create lasting connections.
“We’re going on trips with the kids, and planning our life for the future,” Tessaverne says. “It’s been so intentional.”
As dating apps continue to post eye-popping financials, an increasing segment of LGBTQ+ daters are taking their dollars offline instead. The human touch, it seems, is an investment worth making.
